"Dear Good Job, I'm a woman in my late 20s. My friend "Samantha" is in her mid 30s. We've been close friends for the last five years, and we usually have a good time together. But one issue that keeps coming up is her incessant advice giving. If I go on a date that didn't go well, she'll insist that I'm rejecting available men due to my past traumas."
"Now I'm looking for a job, and it's gotten so bad I'm having difficulty maintaining this friendship. Her advice is making a hard search worse. When I say I'm applying for a job, she'll google the company and then tell me all the reasons I shouldn't work there. A few times she's even looked over the job requirements (without me having shared the position directly with her) and grilled me over whether I really read it and would be qualified for it."
A woman in her late 20s describes a close five-year friendship with "Samantha," who repeatedly gives unsolicited advice. Samantha interprets bad dates as trauma responses and criticizes event plans. Repeated requests, jokes, and serious conversations to stop have failed; Samantha apologizes but continues. During a job search Samantha researches prospective employers and discourages applications, sometimes reviewing job requirements without being shown them and questioning the woman's qualifications. An interview-day conversation escalated when Samantha criticized insufficient research, prompting the woman to end the call; Samantha then accused her of not listening and has grown cold. The constant advice hinders sharing and strains the friendship.
Read at Slate Magazine
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