"I was nervous about being in a new environment with all new co-workers, and when everyone went out dancing on our last night, I definitely overdid it with the drinks. I didn't say anything inappropriate to anyone, but I definitely didn't handle my liquor well, and people had to step in to take care of me. I felt so ashamed after, and have just avoided the subject since, though I did apologize to one colleague who particularly stepped in to help me sober up. Now our company holiday party is coming up, and I'm worried about my lingering reputation. I can't stop worrying that people will be watching me like a hawk for any misstep. How do I get through this?"
"Dear Party Redo, Please forgive yourself. You haven't stopped thinking about this episode, but I assure you that your colleagues have. Decent people, like you, pay much more attention to their own blunders than to anybody else's, and your colleagues have all seen plenty of drunken mess before. It's not worth cultivating a relationship with anybody who gets a cheap thrill out of a co-worker's embarrassment anyway."
An employee drank too much at a conference soon after joining and required coworkers' help to sober up, causing shame and avoidance. The employee apologized to one colleague but now fears a lasting damaged reputation and anticipates scrutiny at the upcoming holiday party. The advice urges self-forgiveness and notes that coworkers are generally more concerned with their own mistakes than with others'. The advice recommends avoiding relationships with people who take pleasure in others' embarrassment. The advice also warns that approaching the party with shame or anxiety can increase the risk of repeating the behavior.
Read at Slate Magazine
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