"DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a choking incident at the office today when I inhaled a cherry tomato. One of my direct reports did the Heimlich maneuver and helped loosen it, and then one of the guys from another department joined in to keep the tomato moving. As I recovered, a secretary from down the hall put a cold compress on my neck and forehead. I want to thank them, but don't quite know the right thing to do."
"GENTLE READER: Well, he did warn you. The scrutiny of any future requests, Miss Manners believes, is what will really hurt him and the rest of your circle the next time a lifesaving surgery is needed. If your rightful indignation will allow you to say it politely, you could mention this to him. Just be prepared for pushback and the assurance that the money will go not only toward his worthy nonprofit, but also for his recovery."
A coworker performed the Heimlich on an employee who inhaled a cherry tomato; additional colleagues assisted and a secretary applied a cold compress. Appropriate thanks can be offered either in person or by letter, but repeatedly boasting or turning rescuers into self-styled "national heroes" in public is discouraged. When an online fundraiser becomes unnecessary because insurance later covers the surgery, redirecting donations to a nonprofit may be possible but will invite scrutiny and potential pushback from donors. A correspondent who now uses a wheelchair reports ongoing invitations to inaccessible family events, creating an unresolved accessibility concern.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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