"Two days later, I received an invitation to connect with this gentleman on social media. He followed up with a message saying it was nice to see my wife and me again, and, by the way, he had been surfing through my history on the internet. He was sorry that I seemed to have had a frustrating career. I chose not to respond to his message."
"DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm actively involved in a local writers group. Even though I'm a bit younger than the average member, I have more training as a writer, having earned a graduate degree that has led to a few publications. After joining, I took it upon myself to set up and run the email list that gets the weekly prompts out to the writers. I enjoy this. What I enjoy less, however, is when other members tell me to do things, rather than ask."
An acquaintance searched a man's online history and sent a social-media message implying the man had a frustrating career; the recipient declined to reply. A suitable brief reply could assert that the career was challenging and rewarding and note public-company roles, or the recipient could ignore rude remarks. A writers group volunteer manages weekly-email prompts but faces members issuing commands rather than polite requests. A reminder that 'please' and 'thank you' improves behavior temporarily. The volunteer wonders how to set boundaries before becoming busier, preferably by stating availability and asking to be asked rather than told what to do.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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