"When I was 20, I had an affair with a 36-year-old married man. He told me all the things they always say: 'It's over,' 'it's ending,' 'this is something I'd never do.' And even then, I felt rotten about it. Just bad. I had really low self esteem and anxiety, and I foolishly believed what he said at first. I even tried to convince myself that it was fate since we had been friends at work and I'd even babysat for him (truly terrible)."
"My gut feeling was there because it was a horrible thing to be a part of and a horrible betrayal to his wife. To this day, it's the thing I regret the most in my life, and have had to go to therapy over the guilt since I was sabotaging and cheating in other relationships because I felt like I didn't deserve to be treated well."
Several women who were affair partners recount intense remorse and enduring guilt. One woman had an affair at 20 with a 36-year-old married man who promised to leave his wife; she felt rotten, struggled with low self-esteem, believed his assurances, and later sought therapy to address guilt and patterns of self-sabotage. She reports long-term regret and a persistent stomach-sick feeling about her past actions despite later marriage. The accounts show manipulation by older partners, internalized shame, ongoing emotional consequences, and recognition that mistakes can have lasting, damaging effects on self-worth and relationships.
Read at BuzzFeed
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