Marriage 911 - Are You Lovers or Just Roommates?

Long-term relationships can quietly shift from romance to managing kids, work, chores, schedules, and daily responsibilities. Couples may continue functioning as a unit while losing passion, attraction, and play. Disconnection often happens gradually rather than through a dramatic crisis, as partners become highly skilled at running the family “business.” The result is that the couple identity as lovers fades, even when everything else is handled. Many couples lack practical, doable ways to restart fun and romance. Great relationships can be predicted by three key areas, and those areas can be learned.

"The kids. The work. The house. The schedules. The groceries. The dog. The endless list of things that need to get done. Somewhere in the middle of all that life...the two of you disappeared. This is one of the most common complaints I hear from couples. This is not always a dramatic crisis. It is often quieter than that. It is the slow, steady drip of disconnection. But over time, that drip can wear away even the strongest stone. And the two of you, the couple, get lost in the business of life."

"Many couples do not fall apart because something huge happened. They drift because they became very, very good at running the business of the family. I call this Marriage Incorporated. The mortgage gets paid. The kids get to school. The careers are managed. The house is mostly functional. The dog gets to the groomer on time. Everyone gets some vegetables - at least most days. Bravo! Seriously. Life is demanding, and if you are keeping the whole circus moving, that is no small thing."

"But here is the question: Where are the two of you? As lovers? As a romantic couple? As two people who once delighted in each other? "We Just Grew Apart" When people explain why they got divorced, many say some version of "We just grew apart." It sounds gentle. It sounds almost inevitable, like oh well, there is reall"

"Many couples report there is little passion, attraction, romance, or play. Couples do not know how to restart fun and romance in practical, doable ways - they need advice! There are 3 key areas that predict a great relationship - and they can be learned."

Read at Psychology Today