"The kind of man who thinks everyone he meets is good or funny or kind or wonderful. Who gets excited about a good cup of coffee or an egg cooked over-easy with an unbroken yolk. A man who replies to every one of my myriad complaints or attempts at a fight with a wide-eyed, "But I love you babe! You're my sweetheart.""
"When I just want to let my eye rolls and Gen X snark fly a little bit without wounding his tender heart so deeply. After we host a party, for example, I find his unwillingness to debrief about our beloved friends galling. If you could see the look on his face if I point out one guest was being rude or another was trying to have a sneaky cigarette on our porch."
"He's crushed, not by the idea that one of our friends might possibly have been disrespectful but by my insistence on calling his attention to it. He's wounded, confused, bruised by my observations. No matter if what I said was accurate. He doesn't want to know and what's more, he doesn't want me to be the kind of person who tries to make him know."
A partner is described as kind, relentlessly positive, and easily delighted by small pleasures. He consistently responds to conflict with affectionate reassurance, repeating, "But I love you babe! You're my sweetheart." That unwavering optimism feels supportive and nurturing at times, especially during travel and personal transitions. The optimism also creates friction when the other partner wants to express sarcasm, critique friends, or debrief social situations. Pointing out rudeness or problematic behavior leaves him crushed and resistant, preferring to ignore negatives and maintain a cheerful, untroubled outlook rather than engage in critical reflection.
Read at Scary Mommy
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