"Cutting off or stepping away from a troubled parent, sibling, or even an entire family may seem like a first step toward healing and autonomy. Yet, for many, the dysfunctional emotional and behavioral patterns established in the family of origin often resurface in intimate bonds outside the family. Research has shown that patterns of connection, conflict, and caregiving siblings experience in their relationships often form the foundation of adult attachment styles, conflict management strategies, and overall relationship satisfaction."
"Reenactment of old dynamics: "Repetition compulsion," a term coined by Sigmund Freud, refers to the unconscious tendency to re-enact traumatic experiences in an attempt to resolve them. An individual may bring unresolved issues into new relationships, often re‐creating the same patterns that occurred in the family of origin. One study reported in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy found that differentiation of self can predict the quality of a marriage."
Family-of-origin emotional and behavioral patterns often persist into adulthood, leading some people to cut off relatives while re-enacting the same dynamics in romantic and other relationships. Children who feel rejected by parents or siblings frequently misread emotional cues and internalize avoidance or aggression as default responses. Poorly learned communication skills in childhood can result in estrangement rather than conflict resolution in adult relationships. Repetition compulsion drives individuals to unconsciously recreate traumatic family experiences in new bonds. Differentiation of self established in the family predicts marital quality, with those from conflicted families more likely to exhibit exaggerated anxiety and reactions.
Read at Psychology Today
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