#repetition-compulsion

#repetition-compulsion

When my parents divorced when I was twelve, I thought I'd learned what not to look for in relationships. Turns out, I'd actually created a blueprint that I kept following without even realizing it. The emotional unavailability I swore I'd never tolerate? I was actively attracted to it, mistaking that familiar feeling of trying to win someone over for genuine chemistry.

Cutting off or stepping away from a troubled parent, sibling, or even an entire family may seem like a first step toward healing and autonomy. Yet, for many, the dysfunctional emotional and behavioral patterns established in the family of origin often resurface in intimate bonds outside the family. Research has shown that patterns of connection, conflict, and caregiving siblings experience in their relationships often form the foundation of adult attachment styles, conflict management strategies, and overall relationship satisfaction.