"Love doesn't always come naturally; many of us need guidance about how to feel love and express it. There are many ways we can, consciously or not, block the experience of loving and being loved. Deep-seated fears of being hurt, used, or deceived often stop us from accepting love. Acknowledging that these fears are normal is the first step to overcoming them."
"Similar to other dynamics that truly matter-such as compassion, authenticity, and freedom-there are no experts when it comes to love. Understanding life itself is an invitation to an ongoing apprenticeship; as Ernest Hemingway suggested, "We are all apprentices in a craft where no one becomes a master." No one becomes a master in the art of loving-but if we're lucky, we may allow love to teach us."
"And even when someone shows up and is loving us, it's not always entirely clear who they are loving. Do they really know who we are? Do we simply remind them of someone they knew in the past? Are they loving us in the hope that we will, in turn, love them? Or what about when we're doing the loving? There is often confusion and humility there also."
Love often does not arise automatically; many people require guidance to feel and express love. Conscious or unconscious defenses can block experiencing both loving and being loved. Deep-seated fears of being hurt, used, or deceived frequently prevent acceptance of love. Acknowledging those fears as normal can begin the process of overcoming them. Life can be experienced as an ongoing apprenticeship in loving, with no one becoming a master. Humility emerges from uncertainty about securing another's love and about whether feelings are truly love. Repeated encounters with love provoke questions about risk, misrecognition, and missed opportunities. Courage is also required.
Read at Psychology Today
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