"A boogeyman haunts the realm of friendship advice: the friend who vents too much. Although people have surely been complaining since the dawn of language, and getting annoyed at one another about it for nearly as long, venting about how much other people are venting has lately gotten very loud. Etiquette books, advice columns, and talking-head TikToks have taken up the issue of over-venting."
"Those on the receiving end of complaints bemoan their status as the "therapist friend." The message is: Vent with caution. Therapists and researchers I spoke with have also noticed a heightened anxiety among their patients and research subjects about venting. "It's a real-life thing," Peter Mallory, a sociologist at St. Francis Xavier University, told me. He said that when he interviews people about their friendships, he frequently hears them "talking about the burdens of other people coming to them when they need emotional support.""
Venting has become framed as potentially "toxic" or "trauma dumping," and many people feel pressure to "vent with caution." Social and etiquette media amplify concerns about over-venting, and recipients of complaints sometimes resent being labeled the "therapist friend." Therapists and researchers report heightened anxiety about burdening others, and some people withhold struggles to avoid being "too much." Venting produces trade-offs: emotional disclosure can deepen intimacy but also exhaust listeners. Historical views of catharsis trace the idea of venting to early psychotherapies that emphasized releasing suppressed emotions.
Read at The Atlantic
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