The article explores the concept of 'Dissociated Shame Wars' in relationships, where shame and dissociation during arguments prevent resolution and emotional connection. It differentiates between shame and guilt, explaining how shame can trigger defensive reactions such as self-attacking, attacking others, withdrawing, or avoiding the issue. These reactions, stemming from feelings of being judged or rejected, escalate conflicts and result in long-term emotional damage rather than fostering healing and understanding in relationships.
In arguments fueled by shame, partners may unconsciously switch into self-protective behaviors, blocking emotional repair and leading to deep wounds that linger.
Shame, unlike guilt, is a matter of identity, triggering defensive survival modes that disrupt communication and escalate conflict in relationships.
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