"I realize Christmas is still a ways off, but every year I go all out to find my niece the hottest must-have toy, only for her mother (my sister-in-law) to accuse me of trying to buy her affection. My brother and his wife have fewer resources than I have, so I don't mind shelling out to make my niece's Christmas as magical as possible. How can I convince my SIL that I'm not trying to upstage her?"
"Tell your sister-in-law that you'd really like to get something special for your niece, and ask how she would feel about making it a gift from Santa, to avoid any accusations of affection-buying or upstaging (but the way you'd put it would something like "if that might be fun," that avoids triggering her insecurities). Of course, this means you'd get no credit,"
A family member buys the hottest must-have toys for a niece but the mother accuses the giver of trying to buy affection. The giver's household has more resources and does not mind spending to make the niece's Christmas magical. The advice recommends first honoring any explicit lists or dollar limits set by the parents. Alternative strategies include presenting the gift as from Santa, giving a toy-store gift card to the parents, or providing an experience such as a holiday train ride. These approaches prioritize the child's enjoyment while aiming to respect parental authority and reduce conflict over gifts.
Read at Slate Magazine
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