"The issue I'm facing is that my mother keeps trying to fix me up with other men! There have been no fewer than five separate occasions within the last six months where I have come over to my parents' place to find a man waiting there that she wants to introduce me to. Each time the guy has left angry and embarrassed (my mother conveniently failed to mention that I'm married), and so have I."
"I don't want you to risk being cut off from your father while he's sick, so why don't you take some time to see him through that experience while working to fire your mom from her gatekeeper role? It's easy to assume that the way family dynamics are is the way they will always be, but you and your father just have to establish your own rhythm, staying in touch without her help."
A married woman reports that her mother repeatedly attempts to set her up with other men, failing to disclose the woman's marriage and causing repeated embarrassment. The woman recently learned she is pregnant and considers severing ties with her mother, but her father is undergoing chemotherapy and the mother controls access to him. Advice urges maintaining contact with the father while removing the mother’s gatekeeper role by establishing direct communication methods, such as a phone the father uses and prefers. Advice recommends setting firm boundaries, developing an independent rhythm of contact, and preparing to reduce or end contact if necessary.
Read at Slate Magazine
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