"At every bend, I had to pick myself up. It was disappointing because when I shared with friends how tough things were for me, it seemed like it went over their heads. People weren't checking in or being supportive. It may have been that my friends were fighting their own battles, so I want to give grace, but I don't want them to show up for me only for the good times."
"If you want a solo party because you really want to be alone, go for it, but if it is to punish your friends, don't. That will backfire on you. Instead, schedule a time to talk to your friends to express your sadness and feelings of isolation over the past year. In terms of solo activities, what do you enjoy? You could take yourself out to lunch or dinner."
The writer experienced a difficult, lonely year and felt unsupported when friends did not check in. They consider celebrating their birthday alone to recover and want to know whether to explain their choice to friends. Choose solitude only if the need is genuine and avoid using solitude as a means to punish friends because that can backfire. Schedule a time to express sadness and feelings of isolation so friends understand the experience and can respond. Solo celebration ideas include dining alone, visiting a museum for a special show, seeing a film, attending a play, or other live performances to feel engaged and comfortable.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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