"When I confronted her, she admitted to it and explained that she struggles with trust issues because of past relationships where she was cheated on. She insists it has nothing to do with me personally, but I can't help feeling hurt and violated. I've never given her a reason to doubt me, and I feel like trust should be the foundation of any relationship."
"Tell your girlfriend you understand her history with trust and want to empathize with her. At the same time, you need to establish boundaries. You do not appreciate her sifting through your phone, searching for gotchas. Suggest that she talk to you and ask questions when she is feeling vulnerable. You two need to establish a rhythm of being in a relationship. Snooping and not trusting you will not help to strengthen your bond."
"I recently started budgeting after realizing how much money slips through my fingers each month, especially on little treats like coffee runs, lunches out and takeout. When I added it all up, I was shocked at how much I've been spending without even realizing it. I know I need to be smarter with my money so I can save for my future goals, like building an emergency fund, paying off debt and eventually buying a home."
A person discovered their girlfriend going through their phone and feels hurt and violated despite the girlfriend's history of being cheated on. The person emphasizes that trust should be foundational and worries snooping could breed resentment and damage the relationship. Advice recommends empathizing with past trauma while establishing firm boundaries and asking the partner to talk when feeling vulnerable rather than searching for evidence. A separate person began budgeting and was surprised by small recurring expenses on coffee, lunches and takeout. That person wants to save for goals but feels deprived when attempting to cut back.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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