"It wasn't outright cruel, but it was insensitive: She implied that my daughter was a lot to handle and hinted that her behavior made it difficult for people to be around her. I know kids can be overwhelming at times, and I'm not blind to the fact that my daughter has her moments, but the way she said it felt judgmental almost like she had been holding this opinion for a while and finally let it slip. It really hurt my feelings."
"Give her space to tell you what worries her. Do your best to listen and not lash out. You can also tell your friend that it hurt your feelings that she seemed to be judging your daughter and that it was hard to hear what she was saying. Sometimes, we need to hear how others perceive our children. You can decide what you do with your friend's insights, but hear her out."
A friend implied the child is hard to be around, causing pain and replaying of the moment while the friend acts as if nothing happened. The parent avoided an immediate confrontation to prevent escalation but now worries about resentment. The suggested approach is to ask the friend to explain specific concerns, give space for concrete observations, and listen without lashing out. The parent can say the comment felt judgmental and hurtful, decide whether any observations are useful, and choose an appropriate response that protects the child and the friendship.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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