Harriette Cole: How can I tell my uncle he's damaging his kid?

"My uncle raised his son and daughter all alone, and I think it was a struggle for him. Over the years, he put affection on the back burner and became results-driven. He did his best to make sure his children were A students, hard-working, well-behaved, well-spoken and aligned for success. I think his rigid parenting style took a toll on his son, my cousin Matt."

"Point out that you know how hard he worked to take care of his children to prepare them to become responsible adults. Note that you think he did a great job, and add that you have noticed how harshly he treats Matt and that it seems to be negatively affecting him. Give him the example of how he publicly berates his son about his shortcomings in front of the family and how uncomfortable and embarrassing that is."

An uncle who raised two children alone became results-driven and deprioritized affection, focusing on academic and behavioral achievements. His rigid parenting style reportedly harmed his son Matt, who struggled academically in college and later with employment. The uncle publicly expresses disappointment and judges his children, causing embarrassment and negative effects on Matt. The recommended approach is to speak privately with the uncle, acknowledge his hard work and successes, point out the harm of his harsh public berating, encourage celebration of positives, and maintain supportive contact with Matt as a peer cheerleader to counteract emotional damage.

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