Dear Abby: My colleague was keeping a secret from the boss

"When I found out, I did tell the boss even though Erin told me not to. Erin took a job on the Q.T. while still on your boss' payroll. In the state where I live (California), that would be a reason to fire her. I do not regard enlightening your boss about what Erin did as deceitful. I think what you did was the right thing to do and loyal to the company."

"I'm nearly 70, and suddenly I'm remembering things from the past that I haven't thought about in years - mostly conversations in which I wish I had responded differently. (I've never been really quick about responding to things.) Now they keep popping up, and I can't seem to stop thinking about what I wish I had said. If this is how you are spending your leisure time, you may have too much of it on your hands. When this happens, try to redirect your thoughts to something else. Then remind yourself that none of us can change the past, but we can learn from it so we don't repeat our mistakes (or errors of omission) in the future."

A coworker continued remote work after the pandemic while the rest of the team returned to the office, creating resentment. That coworker accepted another job without notifying management and asked a colleague to keep it secret. The colleague informed the boss and was told that disclosing the information was not deceitful and could be considered loyalty to the company; accepting outside work while on the payroll might legally justify termination depending on policy or state law. An older individual reports intrusive recollections of past conversations and regrets; the recommended responses are to redirect thoughts, fill leisure time, and seek therapy if anxiety or depression occur.

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