"At the time, my gut feeling was that he felt awkward inviting me and his aunt when his parents weren't included. In the past, I have sent Ethan a check on his birthday and at Christmas and helped him financially with vehicle repairs. Although I was not invited, I sent a congratulatory card for the wedding, with a significant check enclosed. He cashed the check but did not acknowledge receipt of the card."
"DEAR ESTRANGED: Dear Abby would recognize that not being invited to the wedding, after being told I would be, was a breach of etiquette. That I lovingly sent a check as a wedding gift, which was cashed with no acknowledgment, would indicate (to me) that my grandson has chosen to distance himself from me. By all means, send a birthday card if you wish, but please don't be surprised when it, too, garners no response."
My grandson Ethan and his fiancée moved out four years ago and withheld their new address from his parents, leaving contact limited to occasional texts. Ethan married seven months ago and excluded his parents because he feared they would make the day about themselves; he had told the grandmother she would be invited and would receive a photographer's picture. The grandmother discovered the wedding via social media. She has previously given financial gifts and sent a sizable wedding check that was cashed without acknowledgment, which signals deliberate distancing. Sending a birthday card is reasonable, but financial gifts are not advised and a lack of response is likely.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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