The letter from a grandmother expresses frustration over her daughter-in-law's lack of acknowledgment for significant gifts. Although she has done much for the family, including providing college funds, her efforts go unrecognized, largely due to a personality clash with her daughter-in-law, who dominates family interactions. The response emphasizes understanding these dynamics, implying her son's acknowledgment may suffice, and suggests letting go of some opinions. It also points to her possible intention to strengthen family ties through gifts, which hasnât been reciprocated in quality time.
Iâm curious about your sonâs comment regarding divorce. That, coupled with your observations about the imbalance in family together time, suggests to me that perhaps the underlying issue isnât so much gift acknowledgement as it is a personality clash between you and your daughter-in-law.
If you donât like the way that your sonâs marriage works, then other things are likely to pop up and rankle you. Youâre entitled to your opinion, of course, but at a certain point, itâs helpful to let go of some of those opinions and let your son own the choices heâs making.
Itâs also possible that your generosity has been an attempt to win more quality time with the family. I can see that logic. If you pay for the childrenâs tuition or give the family a car, it stands to reason theyâd make a point to show their gratitude by seeing you more.
Sure, the right thing for your daughter-in-law (and the kids) to do is to also make sure you know the gifts are appreciated. But, for many families, one thank-you note suffices.
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