Asking Eric: My mother is the bad guy in the divorce. Why should I forgive her?
Briefly

The letter writer, a recent college graduate, grapples with the emotional turmoil following their parents' divorce, focusing on their mother's infidelity. Despite advice to maintain relationships with both parents, the writer struggles with their mother's betrayal, contrasting it with their father's forgiveness. They express deep disappointment in their mother's actions, which seem inconsistent with the values she once embodied. The response acknowledges these complex feelings, emphasizing the humanity of parents and the importance of processing emotions before seeking forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a step or two beyond where you are right now. It's important to remember that parents are human and that every person has the capacity to give in to their worst instincts.
Your feelings of disappointment towards your mother's choices are valid, especially since they clash with the values she espoused in the past.
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