"You may be taking on too much responsibility for S and T's relationship dynamics. If a simple request about feeling secure in the place where you're sleeping hurts her or drives a wedge in her marriage, that's largely her responsibility. I don't write this to be callous. But think of what you're actually asking: You don't want to be filmed while you sleep. This is not unreasonable in the least."
"But think of what you're actually asking: You don't want to be filmed while you sleep. This is not unreasonable in the least. There may be more complicated dynamics going on between S and T. So, having a friend say, This made me uncomfortable, and I just want to check in about it may give her the opportunity to confide in you or to see things differently."
A long-distance friend discovers indoor and outdoor cameras in her friend's home and finds two cameras in the bedroom where she sleeps, which made her feel watched and upset. She hesitates to raise the concern because she fears hurting her friend and driving a wedge between the friend and her husband. The recommendation is to set a boundary and voice discomfort directly, since asking not to be filmed while sleeping is reasonable. Expressing concern may allow the friend to confide about marital dynamics or reconsider camera placement. A simple, empathetic check-in script can open communication and protect the friendship.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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