"To be clear, he isn't responsible for his daughter's behavior, but his lack of response exposed a gap between your expectations and his expectations. It's healthy to talk that out. It's healthy to talk about your hurt feelings and to ask about his thoughts on what happened. I'm almost certain there's more to this situation, considering it also involves family dynamics and an outburst that is far too severe."
"He may say something along the lines of, It was between you and her, I didn't want to be involved. And that's a fine position to hold. But a statement like this gives you the opportunity to say, That's actually not how I saw it. The goal isn't to convince him of your view, or vice versa. It's for both of you to keep learning about each other, so that future communication runs more smoothly."
A nine-year committed relationship between advanced seniors that does not include cohabitation encountered a sudden verbal attack by the partner's daughter. The partner remained silent while the daughter ranted and her husband interjected on her behalf. The longstanding companion provided extensive caregiving during hospital stays, COVID, joint replacements, and illness, while the daughter visited only briefly. The companion feels hurt, disappointed, and angry and questions whether the partner would defend her. Open, calm conversation is advised to express hurt feelings, explore his reasons for nonintervention, clarify expectations about support, and improve future communication amid complex family dynamics.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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