"It sounds like your brother has a long history of working out insecurity. Unfortunately, he chooses to work it out on others, particularly on you. This isn't healthy and it won't help him. But that's a problem that's on his side of the street. In order to enjoy yourself, insulate yourself as much as possible. First, through self-coaching. Remind yourself that his words aren't coming from a place of care or of truth. Every word is his own lack of self-confidence talking."
"Until recently my brother was extremely overweight due to eating far too much and taking no exercise. He was also a very heavy drinker. He's turned that around now, which is great, although he still has a lot of weight to lose. The trouble is he's been criticizing what others eat and drink. Just the smallest comments occasionally about the calorie content of what you eat and what drinking does to you."
A sibling previously extremely overweight and a heavy drinker has improved but now criticizes others' eating, drinking, and physical appearance. Occasional remarks include calorie counts and comments like 'you have big hips' or 'you look fat.' The critic is described as toxic and jealous, and the family tends to protect him as a golden child, making confrontation risky. The person wants to enjoy a rare family party without being shamed. Recommended strategies include emotional insulation through self-coaching, reframing the remarks as the brother's insecurity rather than truth, and bringing a supportive friend as backup to lessen impact.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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