Asking Eric: I do the housework, and my wife gives me unwanted tutorials
Briefly

Asking Eric: I do the housework, and my wife gives me unwanted tutorials
"Dear Husband: I'm not trying to sound flippant however, the fact is I don't know what's in your wife's mind, but she does. So, you should ask her. But maybe not while you're loading the dishwasher or unloading the dryer. You both have mismatched expectations about household chores. Not just when they get done or how, but who's responsibility they are."
"Are you also doing hers? Or do you leave that for her? If you are washing her clothes, as well, are they coming out how she expects? There aren't any wrong answers here, per se every couple creates their own marriage. But it sounds like a lot of the conflict that you're having comes from an expectation that you have which she's not meeting and an expectation that she has which you're not meeting."
"A conversation at a neutral time can help tease that out. Start by asking each other what an ideal division of household labor would look like. Ask what are the chores that you like to do? and what are the chores that you would like to never do again? See where you match. Once you've started to sketch out a divisi"
Husband experiences recurring anger because spouse allows dishes and laundry to accumulate, prompting him to do his own laundry and clean the kitchen. Wife interrupts and criticizes his methods while he performs tasks. The wife's motives are unclear to the husband. The core issue is mismatched expectations about when chores are done, how they are done, and who is responsible. Clarify whether each person is doing the other's laundry and whether results meet expectations. There are no universally correct arrangements; each couple creates their own. A calm conversation at a neutral time can identify preferred divisions, liked chores, and chores one refuses to do, then map matches.
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