"Families can be some of the most complicated and confusing relationships you'll ever have. You don't get to choose them, but blood alone comes with expectations - sometimes a gift, sometimes a burden. For some, family means built-in besties and holiday cheer. For others, it can be a painful obligation that can turn toxic, especially when abuse is involved. Let's just say, family can be a complex system that's difficult to navigate at times."
"10. "I guess I sort of put them in the same category as someone who died, so I grieved the relationship I wished we had, but fully knew it was never the one we actually had. Like, I love fires. They keep me warm and cozy. I don't enjoy holding onto burning-hot coals, and that's what those relationships felt like.""
Family relationships can range from supportive and celebratory to painful, obligatory, and abusive. Individuals sometimes choose to sever ties to protect emotional and physical safety, grieving the ideal relationship while recognizing reality. Many report preferring solitude during holidays to repeated harm and find new rituals, gratitude, and calmer lives after distancing. Some describe the estranged relationship as harmful to hold onto, likening it to holding burning coals, and express certainty that separation was the right decision despite intermittent loneliness and complexity around potential reconciliation.
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