5 Ways the "Rotten Lemon Effect" Ruins Good Relationships

"You might have already seen posts about "the rotten lemon effect" circulating online. Imagine placing one rotten lemon in a bowl of fresh fruit. Before long, it spoils the rest. The metaphor describes toxic people, negative environments, or how unprocessed emotional experiences spread. It is catchy, visual, instantly relatable, and perfect for social media. What this framing misses, though, is that the same dynamic shows up within intimate relationships."

"In romantic partnerships, the "rotten lemon" is not meant to describe an individual per se, but rather a recurring relational pattern, such as ongoing criticism or a chronically unmet need. When left unaddressed, these patterns begin to influence the emotional climate of the relationship and how partners interpret each other's behavior. 1. Your Brain Gives Negative Moments More Power Than You Think Negativity bias reflects an evolutionarily adaptive tendency to give greater weight to potentially harmful information. Negative experiences are processed more deeply, remembered more vividly, and given more weight than positive ones. 8 In relationships, painful or hostile moments often carry more weight than positive ones, in spite of frequent positive interactions. Specifically, negativity bias gives repeated negative patterns outsized influence, allowing them to overshadow many loving gestures. The problem is rarely how big it is, but how consistently it appears."

Negative relational patterns gain disproportionate influence because the brain prioritizes potentially harmful information through negativity bias. Repeated criticism or chronically unmet needs shape the emotional climate and change how partners interpret behavior. Partners unconsciously absorb each other's moods and physiological states through emotional contagion, creating emotional interdependence. Sexual desire and emotional intimacy are especially vulnerable to a negative relational climate. The frequency and consistency of negative interactions matter more than single large incidents. Small, timely repair attempts and consistent corrective behaviors can reverse the rotten lemon effect and restore trust, desire, and emotional connection.

Read at Psychology Today