Do you know why our brains can replay our most embarrassing moments from years ago in high resolution, but struggle to remember a compliment from last week? The reason is our brains' tendency to hold onto negative thoughts more tightly than positive ones, referred to as the negativity bias. And this cognitive bias is often amplified by another co-occurring phenomenon researchers call the negative sentiment override.
When it comes to the dog, I take this as a teaching moment. I gently ask Quill to release the shirt. When she does, I praise her. I do not punish her or criticize her for her shirt thieving behavior. Instead, I reward her for what she is doing right. I am kind and patient, and she is curious and happy to learn. And it works. This little dog quickly learns what is expected of her and she begins to do the right thing.
As human beings, each of us is at once perfect and a work in progress. As we grow and expand our knowledge and understanding of the world, we sometimes experience setbacks and failures. We sometimes make mistakes. Some of those mistakes, long after we have made them, loom large in our minds and persist in our thoughts, so much so that we are burdened with regret and remorse for the hurt and harm we have caused others.