Throughout the year, we all have particular events that mark the passage of time. Birthdays, holidays, special events. As professors, we have a few unique days too: some fun, some not. There's the first day of classes, where we still (20+ years in) get the jitters. The last day of classes, when we are often just as, if not more excited, than the students. And then there is the day our course evaluations arrive.
You've just had a crummy day, and you wish you hadn't. Your first instinct is to pick up the phone, call your best friend, and complain. But you also know deep down that you want to be more positive. You know that complaining emphasizes the negative in your life, and you'd like to create a shift for yourself. You recall that you started a gratitude journal, and when you use it, you find you really enjoy noticing the good things more than the bad.
Do you know why our brains can replay our most embarrassing moments from years ago in high resolution, but struggle to remember a compliment from last week? The reason is our brains' tendency to hold onto negative thoughts more tightly than positive ones, referred to as the negativity bias. And this cognitive bias is often amplified by another co-occurring phenomenon researchers call the negative sentiment override.
When it comes to the dog, I take this as a teaching moment. I gently ask Quill to release the shirt. When she does, I praise her. I do not punish her or criticize her for her shirt thieving behavior. Instead, I reward her for what she is doing right. I am kind and patient, and she is curious and happy to learn. And it works. This little dog quickly learns what is expected of her and she begins to do the right thing.
As human beings, each of us is at once perfect and a work in progress. As we grow and expand our knowledge and understanding of the world, we sometimes experience setbacks and failures. We sometimes make mistakes. Some of those mistakes, long after we have made them, loom large in our minds and persist in our thoughts, so much so that we are burdened with regret and remorse for the hurt and harm we have caused others.
