"If you've had challenging relationships before, past fears may come back to haunt you, even when the right person comes along. Experiencing a lack of emotional safety can rewire your brain to stay alert to threats, even in healthy dynamics. Factors such as your attachment style, shaped by early relationships and past experiences, can also explain why you may respond with fear to a new relationship."
"When you're with the right person, certain questions rarely pop into your mind. "Does this person really love me?" You're not left overthinking texts or analyzing every interaction. You don't feel constantly judged, criticized, or uneasy. There are no games where your loyalties are tested, no pressure to prove your worth, no chasing after affection just to feel seen. With the right person, you feel certain and secure."
Past relationship trauma and a lack of emotional safety can rewire the brain to remain alert to threat cues, producing fear even in healthy partnerships. Attachment styles formed in early relationships influence responses to new intimacy: anxious attachment may quiet in secure bonds, while avoidant attachment may find intimacy less threatening and more manageable. Signs of healthy relationships include not second-guessing a partner's love, absence of games or pressure to prove worth, and the ability to be authentic and feel appreciated. Stable intimate relationships associate with higher psychological well-being and improved stress responses due to trust in partners' emotional availability.
Read at Psychology Today
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