"We humans are wired for survival-and that's a good thing, up to a point. Over millions of years of evolution, mammalian protective instincts have kept predators away and safeguarded us from dangers. Whenever there's a real or imagined threat to our safety and well-being, our nervous system launches into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. This instinctive reactivity works well in emergencies, but it can sabotage communication in our close relationships."
"To communicate in ways that foster emotional safety and trust, it helps to pause before speaking and reflect on three key questions: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it useful? It's not easy to pause when we're desperate to be heard-or trying to protect ourselves from emotional pain. But if we can slow down and take a breath before responding, we can ask: Is what I'm about to say kind?"
Breakdowns in communication are a leading reason relationships falter, alongside trust breaches and incompatibilities. Nonviolent Communication and mindfulness practices offer tools for healthier relating. Humans are evolutionarily wired to react with fight, flight, freeze, or fawn when threatened, and that reactivity can undermine intimate communication. Pausing before speaking and reflecting on whether an utterance is kind, true, and useful fosters emotional safety and trust. Slowing down, taking a breath, and asking whether words will wound helps prevent harsh, critical, or contemptuous language that predicts relationship distress. Kindness in communication promotes intimacy without requiring abandonment of personal needs.
Read at Psychology Today
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