Calling someone selfish can shut down conversations and lead people to abandon limits. Psychological research and clinical observation indicate that boundaries often labeled selfish can be essential for healthy relationships. The issue is not that limits are harmful, but that they can appear harmful to outsiders who benefit from those limits not being enforced. Saying no to plans can prevent chronic exhaustion and emotional burnout, which otherwise leads to depleted, distracted presence. Enforcing boundaries helps people show up fully and attentively rather than resentfully. Discomfort with these limits can signal relational generosity rather than selfishness.
"A 2020 study found that individuals who consistently failed to enforce personal limits were significantly more likely to experience chronic exhaustion and emotional burnout. Burned-out people don't typically become great partners or attentive friends. They show up depleted, distracted, and silently resentful. They're present in body, yet absent in every way that matters."
Read at Psychology Today
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