2 Responses to Avoid When Someone Opens Up to You

"Instead, it becomes a revelation of a perceived weakness: a fear of rejection, a shame-laden experience, or uncertainty about how they are seen. To then weaponize that disclosure - by mocking it, sharing it with others, or throwing it back at them later in an argument - would be the unkindest thing you could do, regardless of whether or not it was your intention. This is because it will threaten the core of their sense of safety in their relationship with you."

"People disclose vulnerabilities most often when they are uncertain about a partner's acceptance. A seminal 2008 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology helps explain why these moments can be so precarious to navigate socially. The researchers proposed and tested a model indicating that when individuals feel insecure in a relationship, they are more likely to express vulnerability to seek reassurance. However, doing so can also paradoxically increase their insecurity if the response they receive feels inauthentic or unsafe."

Immediate responses to someone opening up determine whether they feel safe, accepted, and willing to share again. Supportive handling of vulnerability can bring people closer, while harmful responses can close relational doors permanently. Using a disclosure against someone — mocking it, sharing it, or weaponizing it later — undermines relational safety and attacks perceived weaknesses like fear, shame, or uncertainty. Vulnerable disclosures are often attempts to seek reassurance when individuals feel insecure in a relationship. Inauthentic or unsafe responses can paradoxically increase insecurity, leaving the discloser preoccupied with how they are perceived and less likely to open up in future.

Read at Psychology Today