"Usually people approach couples therapy as a last resort to salvage their relationship that has been deteriorating for 2 to 3 years, according to research. 1 Yet, many leave without tangible results. While the therapist you've chosen might not be a good fit, there might also be things that aren't about the therapist, their treatment approach, or their experience, so you can influence them to make therapy more successful and efficient."
"This instance of magical thinking, when one expects to get results just because they came to therapy, saps the process. Coming to therapy is a beginning, but it's just the start of the process. It is accompanied by a dialogue between the partners and with the therapist, and inevitably with resistance on the clients' side, because-let's face it-changes are difficult."
People often seek couples therapy as a last resort after roughly two to three years of relationship decline, yet many leave without tangible results. Failure commonly occurs when couples pose overly general or grand questions and expect immediate miracles. Magical thinking undermines progress because therapeutic change requires sustained effort, dialogue, and tolerance of discomfort. Effective couples work centers on addressing concrete examples of miscommunication, disappointment, anger, and unmet needs rather than attempting to resolve large abstract issues on the spot. Therapists must resist client haste while guiding stepwise, practiceable changes that partners can influence and implement.
Read at Psychology Today
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