Why Do Compliments Make Me Feel So Uncomfortable?

"Some feverishly court them while they repulse another. We're taught that we need to love ourselves, to find solace in our own self-image, while also told that others often know us better than we know ourselves. For those apt to distrust, and who are not only cynical but also self-loathing, both options may feel impossible, so out of reach that one may even come to treat both with disdain, rejecting them to mask their deep-seated needs and fears."

"On the one hand, one believes they can and should prove their worth to themselves, and on the other, they expect the world to gift them the evidence. So, as you can imagine, this basis contributes to a push/pull and love/hate relationship with compliments. One hates how much they need them, they shame themselves for being influenced by them, they find their inability to find merit"

Compliments often trigger fear, regret, confusion, and shame for people who distrust praise. Perfectionism functions as a survival strategy to manage deep self-loathing and competing needs for approval. Perfectionists hold a paradoxical belief that they are fundamentally flawed yet can overcome flaws through strategic effort, producing a form of magical thinking about achievement. That belief system creates a push–pull, love/hate relationship with compliments: craving validation while shaming oneself for needing it. Accepting compliments requires acknowledging responsibility for core beliefs and choices about the self, which can feel threatening and sustain avoidance of praise.

Read at Psychology Today