This Year, Choose Joy

"As a psychotherapist who's spent decades helping people with self-improvement (and plenty of time working on my own), I've seen this pattern repeatedly. I call it PRDS-Post-Resolution Disappointment Syndrome. It's that sinking feeling when we realize we've let ourselves down again, now with the added weight of feeling like a failure. The good news? You're not alone. There's a support group for PRDS-otherwise known as everyone else who didn't keep their resolutions either."

"Psychology offers countless techniques for building new habits, whether for physical health, mental well-being, or spiritual growth. But even the best tips often end up on the same list of broken promises. Alan Watts, the Beat philosopher and spiritual entertainer, put it bluntly: "The reason our attempts to improve ourselves fail is that the self we're trying to improve doesn't exist." He argued that the ego-the "self" we imagine-is an illusion. There is no permanent self."

Resolutions often fail because they feel like demands that provoke excuses and lead to Post-Resolution Disappointment Syndrome (PRDS), a sinking feeling of self-failure. Psychological habit techniques exist but can end up as broken promises when they target a fixed "self." Alan Watts argues that the self people try to improve is illusory and lacks permanence. A practical alternative is to choose enrichment over improvement by selecting joyful activities—concerts, travel, novel foods—that increase motivation, lower stress, and enhance happiness. Asking reflective questions supports goal attainment by reframing obligations into exploratory choices that align with enjoyment and sustainable change.

Read at Psychology Today