Perfectionists frequently overcorrect by attempting to eradicate perceived weaknesses, especially people-pleasing. People-pleasing involves going above and beyond to make others comfortable or happy, and often persists despite claims of indifference. The tendency reflects prosocial sensitivity and reactivity to environments rather than moral failing. The orchid-and-dandelion framework frames highly sensitive individuals as hyper-reactive to both positive and negative environments, explaining stronger reliance on approval. Shame around people-pleasing arises from biased beliefs that equate dependence with weakness. Acceptance of innate temperament provides a foundation for managing people-pleasing without attempting complete elimination.
Humans have a strong tendency to overcorrect. Perfectionists, in particular, overcorrect by forcing themselves to become different versions of themselves, or fundamentally different people. Disdaining weakness in general, they often enter treatment to attempt to eliminate all of it. In my experience, one of the more glaring and repugnant weaknesses is people-pleasing, the tendency to go above and beyond to make others feel comfortable and/or happy.
Perfectionists, who wish to conceive of themselves as hyper-independent, tend to reject, project, minimize, and deny that part of themselves. Yet, despite their insistence that they don't care what others think of them, people-pleasing remains at the core of their personalities. Perfectionists tend to hate how much they need people, as they infer some sort of moral failing from it.
Dr. Thomas Boyce outlined it in his groundbreaking book on sensitive children, The Orchid and the Dandelion. Boyce wrote, "The orchid child is the child who shows great sensitivity and susceptibility to both bad and good environments in which he or she finds herself or himself." Therefore, the orchid kid isn't just codependent on people; more broadly, they're hyper-reactive to their environments on the whole, influenced by various aspects of them.
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