"This week, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when I noticed the woman in front of me wearing the most unapologetically joyful pair of yellow boots. The kind of yellow that skips right past muted mustard and lands on full sunflower, like a little wink of summer on a dreary winter day. As most of us would, I almost kept the thought to myself."
"We notice something lovely and swallow it. Instead, I heard myself say, "I just have to tell you, those boots are fantastic." She turned around, startled for half a second, and then her whole face shifted. She lit up with a real smile, the kind that starts in the eyes and spreads from cheek to cheek. She laughed and said, "I wasn't sure if I could pull them off.""
"Why This Tiny Thing Matters More Than We Think There's solid research behind what happened in that coffee line. In a 2021 study, Zhao and Epley found that people consistently underestimate how good it feels to receive a compliment. The givers worry they'll come off awkward or intrusive, but the receivers report feeling significantly more uplifted than the givers predicted. Our hesitation is usually based on faulty assumptions. We convince ourselves it will be awkward, or that it won't matter much, and we're usually wrong."
A brief compliment to a stranger transformed a moment in a coffee shop: a bold pair of yellow boots prompted a spontaneous compliment that produced an immediate, visible uplift in the recipient. Research shows people underestimate how much recipients enjoy compliments; givers fear awkwardness or intrusiveness while receivers feel significantly more uplifted. Positive psychology research finds that small, intentional acts of kindness improve the well-being and life satisfaction of the person performing them when practiced consistently. Such gestures require only attention and a few spoken words, not elaborate plans or resources. Small compliments can quickly change interpersonal energy and boost happiness for both parties.
Read at Psychology Today
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