"Are there people you wish you could be more like? You have goals, such as to speak up more, to stop and breathe when you get angry, or to listen with more curiosity before declaring your opinion. You set these self-improvement goals and then find reasons for not changing now, or you simply forget them. Your desire to transform is real, but your brain is sabotaging your goals."
"If the changes you seek require a shift in your identity-how you define yourself-you are likely to rationalize ways to avoid the transformation you desire. Maja Djikic, author of The Possible Self, said, "Who we believe we are is often the enemy of who we want to become." The convenient, unexamined rationalizations your brain quickly formulates to protect your outdated self-perception allow you to dodge the uncertain process of personal transformation."
Desire for personal change often encounters neurological resistance because the brain prefers familiarity and repeated self-definitions. Habits can be built through daily practice when those habits do not threaten existing self-concept. When desired changes require an identity shift, the brain generates rationalizations and avoidance to protect the current self-perception. Superficial self-reflection typically remains bounded by the stories that sustain identity. Significant transformation requires safely exploring who one could become before anchoring in current identity, and the support of another person can enable imagining possibilities beyond entrenched self-definitions.
Read at Psychology Today
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