Psychology suggests people who give endlessly but never ask for anything aren't generous - they've simply confused being needed with being loved while quietly keeping score, which is a different kind of loneliness - Silicon Canals

"For many compulsive givers, the act of giving isn't primarily about the recipient. It's about what being needed provides the giver: a legible reason to be in someone's life, a proof of worth that doesn't require the vulnerability of simply being wanted for who you are."

"Attachment research has consistently found that when caregiving environments are inconsistent or conditional, children learn to read love as something that has to be earned rather than simply received."

"The child whose emotional needs are met sometimes but not reliably develops what researchers call anxious attachment, a working model of relationships in which closeness feels perpetually uncertain and effort feels like the only reliable strategy for securing it."

"Carried into adulthood, this lesson produces a particular dynamic: the person gives constantly because giving feels safer than asking."

Compulsive givers often derive their sense of worth from being needed by others, rather than from being loved for who they are. This behavior stems from childhood experiences where love was conditional, leading to anxious attachment styles in adulthood. As a result, these individuals may give endlessly, as it feels safer than the vulnerability of asking for love or support. The distinction between being needed and being loved is crucial, as it shapes their relationships and emotional well-being.

Read at Silicon Canals