People who were praised for being mature as children often become adults who have no idea what they actually want - Silicon Canals

"Children who were praised for being mature were, in many cases, children who had no choice. They grew up in households where a parent was emotionally unavailable - whether through depression, addiction, chronic illness, workaholism, or simply being overwhelmed. Sometimes it was subtler: a parent who was physically present but emotionally checked out, or a family system where someone needed to be the steady one."

"Psychologists have a term for this: parentification. It's a role reversal where the child becomes the emotional caretaker of the family. Research published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology has consistently linked parentification to anxiety, depression, and difficulties with identity formation in adulthood. The 'mature' child isn't developing ahead of schedule. They're developing around a wound."

Children labeled as unusually mature often grew up in households where emotional needs went unmet due to parental unavailability from depression, addiction, illness, or overwhelm. These children learned to suppress their own needs and became emotional caretakers for their families, mediating conflicts and soothing siblings. Adults praised this behavior as responsibility and maturity, reinforcing the pattern. Psychologists term this parentification—a harmful role reversal where children become family emotional regulators. Research demonstrates parentification correlates with anxiety, depression, and identity formation difficulties persisting into adulthood. The praised maturity masks developmental trauma rather than representing advanced growth.

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