Is Your Perfectionism About Control or Connection?

"Many people recognize that perfectionism is a characteristic of anxiety; however, not all perfectionism is created equal. There are two distinct sources of perfectionism, each motivated by a different need. Understanding the difference between them and what is required by each to alleviate anxiety can make all the difference if you struggle with perfectionism. In my recently published book, Anxiety Unpacked: Discover Your Type and Recover Your Peace, I identify three main root causes of anxiety: catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs."

"Perfectionism rooted in control seeks to manage outcomes and prevent problems. The underlying drive is to avoid mistakes or bad events by maintaining high standards, preparing thoroughly, doing exhaustive research, and anticipating every possible challenge. The belief behind this is that through meticulousness, you can control outcomes and prevent bad things from happening-or at least prepare yourself for them by anticipating and planning for potential problems."

Perfectionism arises from different underlying needs and appears as two distinct types tied to anxiety: control and distorted beliefs. Three main root causes of anxiety are catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs. Perfectionism rooted in control aims to manage outcomes and prevent mistakes through high standards, thorough preparation, exhaustive research, and anticipating challenges. That meticulousness can produce success but increases anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and reduces enjoyment. Perfectionism rooted in distorted beliefs seeks to secure love and acceptance by conforming to perceived expectations. Identifying the source of perfectionism determines how it manifests and which strategies will alleviate the associated anxiety.

Read at Psychology Today