There's a specific kind of loneliness that only hits people who are very good at listening. Everyone trusts them with the heavy stuff, everyone seeks them out when things fall apart, and nobody ever thinks to ask them how they're doing because the role was assigned so early it became invisible. - Silicon Canals

"Most people assume that good listeners are emotionally stable. The logic runs something like: if someone can hold space for other people's pain, they must have their own house in order. They seem calm. They seem grounded. They seem fine."

"The listener role doesn't begin in adulthood. It starts in childhood, usually in a home where a kid learns to read the room before anyone teaches them to read a book."

"Something that began as a survival strategy gets rebranded as a personality trait. People say things like 'you're such a great listener' as if it's a compliment."

"When someone consistently shows up as the calm, available, emotionally attuned person in a group, the people around them often forget to check in on their well-being."

Good listeners are often perceived as emotionally stable, but this assumption is misleading. Many listeners have taken on emotional responsibilities from a young age, learning to prioritize others' feelings over their own. This role can become ingrained, leading to a situation where the listener is expected to support others without receiving support in return. The listener's ability to absorb pain can be mistaken for emotional health, creating a cycle where their own struggles remain unacknowledged and unaddressed.

Read at Silicon Canals