If you apologize when someone bumps into you on the street, hold the door for 30 seconds longer than necessary, and thank bus drivers twice - psychology says these 7 patterns are running simultaneously, and the over-courtesy is a map of every interaction where you were made to feel like an inconvenience - Silicon Canals

"According to psychologist Harriet Lerner, chronic over-apologizing often stems from anxiety and a learned belief that we're responsible for other people's comfort, even at our own expense. This habit typically starts young. Maybe you had a parent who got overwhelmed easily, so you learned to minimize your presence. Or perhaps you were the peacekeeper among siblings, smoothing over conflicts before they erupted."

"The apologizing becomes a preemptive strike against potential conflict. By saying sorry first, you're essentially announcing, 'I know I'm an inconvenience, please don't be angry.' It's exhausting, constantly anticipating and managing other people's possible reactions to your mere existence."

Chronic over-apologizing and excessive courtesy patterns reveal deeper psychological issues beyond politeness. These behaviors often originate from childhood experiences where individuals learned to minimize their presence to manage others' comfort or emotions. Psychologist Harriet Lerner identifies that over-apologizing stems from anxiety and internalized responsibility for others' emotional states. People who apologize for things beyond their control, hold doors until discomfort, or over-thank repeatedly are responding to formative moments when they were made to feel like taking up space, asking for needs, or simply existing was problematic. This pattern becomes a preemptive defense mechanism against potential conflict, with individuals essentially announcing their anticipated inconvenience before others can express frustration.

Read at Silicon Canals