"Your mind—while anticipating misunderstanding, conflict, or rejection—is trying to preemptively manage reactions by offering more context than the situation requires. The problem is that this habit, over time, quietly chips away at self-trust, boundaries, and perceived confidence."
"Recent theoretical research describes assertiveness as operating across social, behavioral, emotional, and mental domains, ranging from the ability to speak up, the capacity to act, the willingness to trust one's emotional experience, and accept reality without excessive self-protection. When this multidimensional sense of agency is weak, people struggle to believe that they have the right to say 'no.'"
"In these contexts, explanation becomes a substitute for authority. Rather than experiencing a boundary as a legitimate expression of need, individuals experience it as a request that must be justified. While 'no' could be a sentence in and of itself, over-explainers cannot control their urge to supply logic to compensate for low perceived relational power."
Over-explaining is a common protective communication strategy where people preemptively manage potential misunderstandings, conflicts, or rejection by providing excessive context. This habit gradually damages self-trust, boundaries, and confidence. Assertiveness is now understood as multidimensional psychological agency spanning social, behavioral, emotional, and mental domains. When this agency is weak, people struggle to assert their right to say no and instead use explanations as substitutes for authority. Rather than experiencing boundaries as legitimate expressions of need, over-explainers feel compelled to justify them with logic to compensate for perceived low relational power. The goal is not emotional detachment but becoming more accurate, firm, and self-respectful in communication.
Read at Psychology Today
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