I tracked every decision I made for a year that started with 'I don't mind, you choose' and realized I wasn't being easygoing. I was running a conflict avoidance protocol so deeply embedded I had genuinely mistaken it for having no preferences. - Silicon Canals

"Most people who say 'I don't mind, you choose' believe they're being generous. They're wrong. For decades, I wore my lack of preferences like a badge of flexibility, a sign I was low-maintenance and easy to be around."

"What I've found, both in my own tracking experiment and in the research, is that a large number of people who present as 'easygoing' aren't expressing a genuine absence of preference. They're running a conflict avoidance protocol."

"The first month's tally was alarming. I recorded 47 deferrals. Forty-seven moments where someone asked me what I wanted and I handed the decision back. Of those 47, I could identify a suppressed preference in 31."

Many individuals who claim to be easygoing often suppress their true preferences to avoid conflict. This behavior is mistaken for agreeableness but is a conflict avoidance strategy. A personal tracking experiment revealed that frequent deferrals in decision-making often masked underlying preferences. In one month, 47 instances of deferring choices were recorded, with 31 instances revealing suppressed preferences. This suggests that the perception of being low-maintenance may actually stem from a deeper issue of identity and social performance.

Read at Silicon Canals