"Kids do not need parents coaching them from the sidelines. They need parents supporting them. Shaming, comparing, or delivering life lessons right after they lose is not wisdom. It is emotional clutter."
"In judo, there is an activity called randori, or live sparring. The sensei makes it clear that this is not about winning or losing. It is about experimenting, learning, and trying things."
"Before every competition, I tell our son, 'It is not about winning or losing. It is about learning.' That is also how I approach my own Brazilian jiu-jitsu training."
"After he lost to one of the best kids in the area, I told him, 'Good job. You did well.' He immediately replied, 'But Mom's not proud of me.' That one landed hard on me."
Youth sports have evolved, with parents becoming more invested in their children's performance. This shift has led to a focus on winning rather than personal growth and learning. Such pressure can negatively affect children's confidence and mental health. Parents often provide constant instructions, leading kids to seek approval from them instead of their coaches. Activities like randori in judo emphasize learning over winning, but some parents still treat competitions as high-stakes events. The emotional impact of parental expectations can be profound, as seen in a child's response to losing.
Read at Psychology Today
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