The article reflects on the author's experience of sudden grief following her sister Millie's unexpected death. She contrasts shock grief, which is disorienting and overwhelming, with the more reflective process that follows after such a loss. The deep bond she shared with her sister makes this loss particularly poignant. The author illustrates the uniqueness of their sibling relationship, how Millie's practicality and memories shaped her understanding and experiences, and the profound impact of losing the only other family member who shared her childhood memories.
I was midway through Kathryn Mannix's With the End in Mind when it happened. It's a comforting book that describes the basics of a good death: a diminuendo.
Shock grief is not the same as here it comes grief, the feeling you eventually get when someone has been ill and deteriorating for some time.
My sister was a lot of what I'm not. She was immensely practical. Pulling down a wall was, to her, what straightening a picture is to me.
As Millie's death graduated from a shock to a thing, I began to realise just how much I had always relied on her version of events.
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