The article explores the concept of the 'default friend,' which refers to the individual in a friend group who takes on the planning and emotional labor. Similar to the 'default parent,' this role can lead to exhaustion and diminished self-worth as the individual continually invests energy without reciprocal support. The article highlights the detrimental effects of this dynamic, including frustration and the feeling of being undervalued. It raises the question of whether one can change this pattern in their friend group to achieve a more balanced emotional exchange.
Being the default friend is exhausting because you're constantly giving emotional energy without receiving it back in the same way, leading to resentment and burnout.
The hidden cost is that you lose touch with your own needs while managing everyone else's emotions, which can damage your sense of self-worth.
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