"Looking back, most parents and adult children are going to have some regrets about their adolescent time together. They may regret what they did (commission) or didn't do (omission)-mistakes made or opportunities missed. Commission regrets might be: "I wish I hadn't lied to them about so much and grown so far away." Dishonesty costs intimacy, creating distance from distrust. Or: "We held onto her too tight when we should have done more letting go!" Their need to control delayed important youthful learning from life experience."
"Omission regrets might be: "I wish I'd listened more to what my parents said about grades during my high school years!" Advice that might have made an educational difference was ignored. Or: "We didn't want to spoil our daughter's high school friendship by sharing our concerns, and look what happened to her!" Communication that might have saved some suffering was unspoken. Although both can cause pain on reflection, regret can be different from guilt. Guilt is often about doing wrong, but regret is often about not doing what was best."
Most parents and adult children experience regrets about their shared adolescent years, arising from actions taken (commissions) or actions omitted (omissions). Commission regrets include dishonesty that erodes intimacy and excessive control that prevents necessary adolescent learning. Omission regrets include failing to heed guidance about academics or withholding concerns to avoid disrupting a child's friendships, which can allow avoidable suffering. Regret differs from guilt: guilt centers on wrongdoing and blame, while regret centers on loss and missed best choices. Regret can offer instruction about what not to repeat and what might be tried differently in future relationships.
Read at Psychology Today
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